


Just Another Hamilton Chatfic

by puppycornashlynn



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, And Laf and Herc, Asexual Character, Asexual James Madison, Asexual John Laurens, Asexual Maria Reynolds, Besides like the Schuylers, Chatting & Messaging, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone else though?, Everyone here is pure honestly, Everyone's depressed pretty much, F/F, Genderqueer Character, Genderqueer Marquis de Lafayette, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Marquis de Lafayette, Tags Are Fun, Texting, The Jeffmads boys are pure, depresso, uwu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24072274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puppycornashlynn/pseuds/puppycornashlynn
Summary: As the title says.Alexander adds a bunch of people to a group chat for some reason (not even God knows why) and chaos ensues from there.Oh and there's reincarnation involved!
Relationships: Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton, Elizabeth Sanders Mulligan/Adrienne de Lafayette, John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Margaret "Peggy" Schuyler/Samuel Seabury, Martha Jefferson/Dolley Madison, Martha Manning/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Philip Hamilton (1782-1801)/Martha Jefferson Randolph, Theodosia Burr Alston/Frances Laurens, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	1. The Start of Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Hamilton fanfic that I'm publishing somewhere other then Wattpad and Hamilton Amino...  
> So it might do horribly, but eh.  
> ...  
> Yeah, enjoy this chaos, I should be sleeping, h e l p .  
> Everyone's names in the chat:  
> Non-Stop - Alexander  
> Totally Not Gay UwU Turtles - John  
> FrenchFry - Laf  
> BadassHorseFucker - Herc  
> Dead Inside - Burr (every kudos equals one help for Burr)  
> aNd pEggY - Peggy (duh)  
> CinnamonRoll - Eliza  
> NeverSatisfied - Angelica  
> MacAndSneezeFucker - Thomas  
> SickBoyo - James  
> Anyways, enjoy this.

**Non-Stop** _has made a group chat._

**Non-Stop** _has added_ **Totally Not Gay UwU Turtles** , **FrenchFry** , **BadassHorseFucker** , **Dead Inside** , **aNd pEggY** , **CinnamonRoll** , **NeverSatisfied** _and_ **SickBoyo** _to the group chat._

**Dead** **Inside** : I appreciate your sense of humor Alexander but why?

**Non-Stop:** What are you asking why about, your name or the group chat in general?

**Dead Inside:** Both.

**Non-Stop: **...

**aNd pEggY:** i got popcorn, i wanna see a Hamburr fight.

**FrenchFry:** i don't think that is a very good idea, _l'oublié._

**aNd pEggY:** don't you have better things to do then supervise the shipping demon?

**BadassHorseFucker:** yeah he has me to do.

**SickBoyo:** I feel uncomfortable-

**Totally Not Gay UwU Turtles:** me too-

**Non-Stop:** Herc, maybe don't make sex jokes when we have two aces here.

**BadassHorseFucker:** you can't tell me what to do, alex.

**FrenchFry:** i can.

**BadassHorseFucker:** here's your reminder that laf can say a bunch of swear words but still does'nt consistently remember how to say "squirrel".

**BadassHorseFucker:** fucking. s q u i r r e l .

**FrenchFry:** english is hard, ok? ;-;

**SickBoyo:** I'm bored soooo.

**SickBoyo** _has added_ **MacAndSneezeFucker** _to the chat._

**NeverSatisfied:** i come back and i see a bunch of notifications from a group chat that i didn't even know existed

**aNd pEggY:** I was spamming you like crazy, angie, how did you not see?

**MacAndSneezeFucker:** why is no one acknowledging the bicon that is in front of you?

**Non-Stop:** Fuck you too Jeffershit.

**MacAndSneezeFucker:** i didn't even do anything???

**SickBoyo:** In case y'all were interested, Thomas is currently consuming a whole carton of mac and cheese ice cream.

**CinnamonRoll:** there's mac and cheese ice cream???

**MacAndSneezeFucker:** yes and it's delicious, and added bonus, i'm simultaneously cuddling with jemmy so like best day ever.

**aNd pEggY:** while i love how gay you two are do you really have to flaunt your gay in this GROUP chat?

**SickBoyo:** I didn't do anything wrong...

**MacAndSneezeFucker:** yeah peggy he didn't do anything wrong.

**aNd pEggY:** still.

**Dead Inside:** seriously though what's the point of this chat?

**Non-Stop:** I don't know I was bored.

**NeverSatisfied:** istg

**Non-Stop:** Soooooo.

**Totally Not Gay UwU** Turtles: i've siaid like nothing this whole time.

**Non-Stop:** *said

**FrenchFry:** annnd there goes le petit lion's grammar nazi mode.

**Non-Stop:** It was a typo.

**Totally Not Gay UwU Turtles:** at least i didn't say i suckerfish at swipetyping.

**aNd pEggY:** why is everyone being so mean? ;-;

**CinnamonRoll:** i wish i could say it's unexpected but we're middle schoolers sooo.

**BadassHorseFucker:** ninety percent of us are thirteen, that's maturish.

**CinnamonRoll:** ninety percent of us? i mean maybe accurate??? twelve-year-olds, raise your hands.

**aNd pEggY:** we're not on zoom, liza.

**SickBoyo:** Peggs... emojis exist for a reason. ✋

**aNd pEggY:** >:c

**Dead Inside:** ✋

**MacAndSneezeFucker:** tfw all of your squad except you is younger than you.

**BadassHorseFucker:** you think you have it bad? my squad is all younger than me. i have to date two thirteen-year-olds, and deal with a thirteen-year-old who won't sleep.

**Totally Not Gay UwU Turtles:** *disaster gremlin

**Non-Stop:** John, just because you're 6'0" and I'm 5'7" doesn't mean you can call me a gremlin.

**MacAndSneezeFucker:** can i call you a gremlin?

**Non-Stop:** Shut up before I come to your dorm and kill you.

**SickBoyo:** I have a knife Alex, do you want me to use it?

**Non-Stop:** Uhhhhhhhh... yes???

**Dead Inside:** Alex no-

**Non-Stop:** Alex yes-


	2. Actual Plot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone starts having weird dreams.  
> I mean Peggy's dreams are always weird but still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, you read the title right, plot is happening.  
> New names in chat:  
> Can'tSayNoToMe - Maria  
> ... that's it.  
> Uhhhh yeah.

**Dead Inside:** Has anyone else been having weird dreams?

 **aNd pEggY:** my dreams are always weird.

 **Totally Not Gay UwU Turtles:** i have i think. i don't usually have dreams about getting shot.

 **BadassHorseFucker:** usually he has dreams about birds and turtles. It's weird.

 **Totally Not Gay UwU Turtles:** no it's not.

 **SickBoyo:** Thomas has dreams about mac and cheese. When he sleeps. But he takes like five hours to sleep and it's kind of irritating.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** i don't know if you know what sleep even is james, when was the last time you slept?

 **SickBoyo:** Last month because I keep having nightmares and I no likey. :c

 **Dead Inside:** In case anyone was wondering, Thomas just tackle hugged James, and yes, I will take pictures for you Peggy.

 **aNd pEggY:** ah yiss

 **Non-Stop:** Anywaysssssssss, back to what Aaron was saying.

 **FrenchFry:** did you just call Burr by his first name?

 **Non-Stop:** Yeah, so?

 **Dead Inside:** I don't have anything more to say so...

 **NeverSatisfied:** I think i have too. But idk

 **CinnamonRoll:** I definitely have, why would dream me fall for dream Alex, like no offense Alex, but you're not that attractive.

 **Non-Stop:** No offense taken. I mean I've been having weird dreams too I think.

 **CinnamonRoll:** Also you were a ginger in my dream so that was weird

 **Non-Stop:** Big oof.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** why don't we even have the full squad™ here?

 **Dead Inside:** Who're we missing?

 **SickBoyo:** Maria.

 **aNd pEggY:** mari-damnit james

 **NeverSatisfied:** ah yes, my favorite member of the Squad. Mari-damnit James.

 **aNd** **pEggY:** i will send samuel after you if i have to

 **NeverSatisfied:** Yeah, cuz I'm so scared of a not actually British British cinnamon roll.

 **SickBoyo:** Can we just fluffin' get Maria here before someone dies?

**aNd pEggY** _has added_ **Can'tSayNoToMe** _to the group chat._

**Can'tSayNoToMe:** why am i here?

 **aNd pEggY:** cuz you're part of the Squad™.

 **Non-Stop:** Since everyone else is, are you having any weird dreams, Maria?

 **Can'tSayNoToMe:** does having s-i mean, the no-no with you in my dreams count? for some reason? oh, and you're a ginger in them and i'm blonde???

 **SickBoyo:** Thank you for censoring the s-word.

 **CinnamonRoll:** what is it with our dreams and alex being a ginger?

 **aNd pEggY:** liz, it's just you and maria's dreams, that's only two out of... uh... eleven of us.

 **CinnamonRoll:** that's more than there should be.

 **Dead Inside:** In my dreams too.

 **Non-Stop:** I can't decide if the fact that I'm apparently in you threes' dreams is endearing or not, I don't even like you.

 **SickBoyo:** Why did you stop typing for a second?

 **Non-Stop:** ... uhhhhhh...

 **aNd pEggY:** ( ͡°ω ͡°)

 **Can'tSayNoToMe:** is that lenny face okay? its eyes are bleeding out of it's head.

 **aNd pEggY:** it's an emoticon, mari, it's fine.

 **Non-Stop:** Has everyone been having weird dreams?

 **Dead** **Inside:** I have.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** me and jemmy both have.

 **CinnamonRoll:** I have, wbu Angelica?

 **NeverSatisfied:** yeah i have too. more alex is a ginger dreams.

 **Non-Stop:** I swear to fucking God-

 **aNd pEggY:** guess which founding father was ginger?

 **SickBoyo:** Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton were both gingers if that's what you're getting at.

 **aNd** **pEggY:** why are you like this?

 **SickBoyo:** Because depresso.

 **Non-Stop:** That sounds like a type of coffee so I like it.

 **Totally Not Gay UwU Turtles:** alex no-

 **Non-Stop:** What did I do wrong???

 **Can'tSayNoToMe:** ahem, let's continue.

 **FrenchFry:** me and mes amours have been.

 **Totally Not Gay UwU Turtles:** guns are scary ;-;

 **BadassHorseFucker:** yes they are good job realizing

 **Non-Stop:** Everyone's being a bitch to everyone else and I don't know why.

 **SickBoyo:** Because Corona.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** how james hasn't gotten corona yet is unbeknownst to mankind.

 **Dead Inside:** I'm literally stuck with Thomas and James and I'm tired of watching them cuddle and all Thomas has in his fridge is mac and cheese and yogurt and the freezer just has ice cream send help.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** it's not just mac and cheese, there's like... crackers.

 **BadassHorseFucker:** why do you refrigerate crackers???

 **SickBoyo:** I'm sick all the time and I don't want lukewarm crackers.

 **BadassHorseFucker:** i dont question you.

 **SickBoyo:** Same.

 **Non-Stop:** I'm starting to question why I made this group chat.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** i'mma go smother james with cuddles now so bye.

 **Dead Inside:** I want to leave but I don't want to risk death.

 **Non-Stop:** Your house is like a mile away from Jefferson's, you won't die.

 **Dead Inside:** Debatable.

 **aNd pEggY:** i ship it.

 **Non-Stop:** pEGGY-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened here either.  
> Corona is a thing.  
> Help Burr not be stuck with Thomas and James like they're a good couple but even I wouldn't want to live in a house that only has mac and cheese, crackers and ice cream.


	3. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Screaming happens.  
> Crying happens.  
> Gayness happens.  
> Straightness happens.  
> What is this summary?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what this chapter is either, enjoy.

**Non-Stop:** hOLY FUCK-

 **CinnamonRoll:** the ginger alex dreams make sense now, don't they?

 **Non-Stop:** yES-

 **aNd pEggY:** wait you guys didn't remember your past lives before?

 **Non-Stop:** Peggy what the fuck?

 **aNd pEggY:** aNd pEggY bishes.

 **SickBoyo:** In the past couple hours I've been up I've had like five mental breakdowns because I fucking died and it was ten years after Thomas and Thomas died before me and how did I survive ten years without him and help-

 **Can'tSayNoToMe:** d-did james just s w e a r ?

 **SickBoyo:** Yes, I did.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** just so everyone knows i'm currently cuddling james while we're under like fifty blankets and he's crying and i feel like i'm gonna cry too.

 **Dead Inside:** Why do I have to be here?

 **Non-Stop:** How do you feel about this whole thing, person who literally murdered me?

 **Dead Inside:** You say that as if you didn't literally have a crush on me last lifetime.

 **Non-Stop:** Uh-

 **aNd pEggY:** one sec, i need to get another shipper here THEN THIS WILL BE PERFECT!

**aNd pEggY** _has added_ **NotActuallyBritishBritishCinnamonRoll** _to the group chat._

**NotActuallyBritishBritishCinnamonRoll:** I just scrolled through this chat and it concerns me.

 **Can'tSayNoToMe:** you get used to it after a while.

 **NotActuallyBritishBritishCinnamonRoll:** anyways shipping-

 **aNd pEggY:** ship ship ship shIP SHIP SHIP SHIP-

 **NotActuallyBritishBritishCinnamonRoll:** SHIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

 **SickBoyo:** Ninety percent of us don't even know you...

 **NotActuallyBritishBritishCinnamonRoll:** I was Samuel Seabury, does that help?

 **SickBoyo:** I literally only know who you are because Peggy forced me to listen to all of Hamilton one time and she somehow condensed it to like twenty minutes??? Even though it's like two hours long???

 **aNd pEggY:** it's peggy logic™, james.

 **NotActuallyBritishBritishCinnamonRoll** **: **It's easier when you don't question her.

 **MacAndCheeseFucker:** in other news unrelated to peggy and hamburr, i'm pretty sure james has fallen asleep in the few seconds that have passed since he sent that.

 **aNd pEggY:** oof.

 **aNd pEggY:** anyways, alexxxxxxxxx.

 **Non-Stop:** Shut it, Peggy. T_T

 **aNd pEggY:** but you like burrrr~

 **Dead Inside:** Yeah, so?

 **aNd pEggY:** i mean burr, you literally killed him

 **Dead Inside:** Yeah, like two hundred years ago.

 **NotActuallyBritishBritishCinnamonRoll:** sooooooooo are you and alexander a thing now?

 **Non-Stop:** just so everyone knows i'm blushing hard right now and help-

 **aNd pEggY:** not until we force you to kiss burr

 **Non-Stop:** That's kind of hard when school's closed because of the Coronas.

 **NotActuallyBritishBritishCinnamonRoll:** we don't care, k i s s

 **Dead Inside:** How?

 **aNd pEggY:** t h r u g a y n e s s

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** gayness does not, in fact, allow you to kiss from a long distance, otherwise james probably wouldn't've been so bored when i was in france.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** also james is still asleep and it's adorable.

 **Dead Inside:** Alex help I don't want to be forced to watch Thomas smother James-

 **Non-Stop:** How can I help?

 **Dead** **Inside:** Good question...

 **aNd** **pEggY:** long distance cuddles, that's what me and sammy are doing, you just cuddle with a stuffed animal and it's about the same.

 **CinnamonRoll:** I always forget you're the only one of us that has an SO.

 **NeverSatisfied:** I'm ace so i don't count.

 **aNd pEggY:** anyways, hamburr.

 **Non-Stop:** No.

 **aNd pEggY:** k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: part of this was written the same day as Chapter 2.  
> I should sleep.  
> But am I going to?  
> Hecc nah bish.  
> Also, new peep:  
> NotActuallyBritishBritishCinnamonRoll - Seabury  
> 


	4. Kiddos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander finds the squad™'s children and does the logical thing of adding a bunch of nine-year-olds to a group chat full of middle schoolers who swear a bunch.  
> Oh, and Eacker's there too.  
> That was an even worse idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know Alex's thought process either honestly.  
> Anyways, chat names:  
> APoet - Philip  
> DearTheodosia - Theo  
> Frances - Frances (I couldn't think of anything help-she's like my favorite aHHHHH-)  
> AngelicaExceptSmallerAndDeadlier - Angie Jr.  
> LaMKid - Martha Jr.  
> r/iamverysmart - John Payne Todd (he's a bean don't @ me)  
> FrenchBoiiiiiii - Georges (AKA the child with the longest name like jfc)  
> ShippingIsMagic - Susan  
> Can'tCountToFuckingSeven - Eacker  
> Enjoy this chaos.

**Non-Stop:** Soooooooo guess what peoples I found?

 **Can'tSayNoToMe:** why are you making us guess?

 **Non-Stop:** Because.

 **Dead Inside:** If I wasn't dating you then I'd probably have killed you by now, Alex, I hope you realize that.

 **aNd pEggY:** ah yiss, hamburr!!!!

 **Non-Stop:** Anyways...

 **Non-Stop** _has added_ **APoet** _,_ **DearTheodosia** _,_ **Frances** _,_ **AngelicaExceptSmallerAndDeadlier** _,_ **LaMKid** _,_ **r/iamverysmart** _,_ **FrenchBoiiiiiii** _,_ **ShippingIsMagic** _and_ **Can'tCountToFuckingSeven** _to the group chat._

 **APoet:** my name is poet, i am a philip.

 **DearTheodosia:** no.

 **aNd pEggY:** who's shippingismagic?

 **ShippingIsMagic:** me.

 **aNd pEggY:** ... that doesn't answer my question.

 **Can'tSayNoToMe:** it's susan.

 **AngelicaExceptSmallerAndDeadlier:** is my name accurate?

 **APoet:** yeah i think so.

 **Frances:** you scare me angie.

 **r/iamverysmart:** she scares us all.

 **SickBoyo:** The best part of John Payne Todd's name is that I can't tell if he's joking or not.

 **r/iamverysmart:** 1\. dude you can just call me john payne and 2. um... yes.

 **SickBoyo:** I hate you.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** you hate everyone except me and maybe burr and maybe peggy and maybe maria.

 **r/iamverysmart:** tfw the person who was your dad in your previous life hates you

 **LaMKid:** like if you cri everytiem

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** i am a proud father, i raised someone who is now being a meme.

 **LaMKid:** yeet

 **SickBoyo:** I want to die.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** one sec y'all, i need to get plenty of blankets and ice cream for jemmy.

 **SickBoyo:** You're the best ilysm.

 **Non-Stop:** Don't you two have a one-on-one chat?

 **SickBoyo:** Yeah but we're here so might as well stay.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** i am back.

 **Dead Inside:** He is literally holding approximately fifty blankets and fifty ice cream cartons.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** now don't enter our room if you don't want to see me literally smother my boyfriend.

 **Can'tCountToFuckingSeven:** my username offends me, philip why?

 **APoet:** because.

 **APoet:** in the musical you shot at seven.

 **Can'tCountToFuckingSeven:** in a m u s i c a l .

 **DearTheodosia:** calm down you two.

 **Can'tCountToFuckingSeven:** n o .

 **APoet:** m a y b e .

 **Frances:** why am i friends with you guys?

 **AngelicaExceptSmallerAndDeadlier:** damn good question.

 **NeverSatisfied:** smaller version of me, why are you swearing?

 **AngelicaExceptSmallerAndDeadlier:** because i can

 **NeverSatisfied:** you're like five-years-old

 **AngelicaExceptSmallerAndDeadlier:** i'm nine...

 **aNd pEggY:** and now it's time for - what's everyone's sexuallity - this time with the kiddos.

 **Frances:** me and theo are gay, philip's bi, angie... i don't know her sexuality tbh.

 **AngelicaExceptSmallerAndDeadlier:** one of them! :3

 **Frances:** and martha's bi and john payne... is straight??? and i think georges and susan are too.

 **FrenchBoiiiiiii:** i didn't realize i was here until a few seconds ago. and yes, me and susan are straight.

 **ShippingIsMagic:** uwu

 **Frances:** someone please kick her, she's making me uncomfortable.

 **Totally Not Gay UwU Turtles:** herc made both me and james uncomfortable within like ten minutes of this chat being made.

 **SickBoyo:** I'd say I'm mad about it but I don't feel any emotions except love right now.

 **MacAndSneezeFucker:** in other words we're cuddling.

 **BadassHorseFucker:** I wasn't trying 2 make u 2 uncomfortable it just happened im sry

 **Non-Stop:** Hi sry, I'm dad.

 **APoet:** hi dad i'm about to duel eacker and he can't count to seven and is also an omnipotent being or something.

 **Can'tCountToFuckingSeven:** how so?

 **APoet:** no one knows your birthday, i've literally never met your parents, do you have parents? i think you just appeared one day.

 **Can'tCountToFuckingSeven:** idk

 **aNd pEggY;** this chat is hecc and i love it.

 **ShippingIsMagic:** uwu

 **aNd pEggY:** nevermind throw it in the bin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things:  
> -Yes, Alex and Burr are an item now.  
> -The Second Gen kiddos' ships are Theofrances and Philartha.  
> -Susan and Georges have crushes on one another also.  
> -The kiddos are the little siblings of the Squad™ members/other peeps:  
> -Philip is John's little brother (logically I mean freckles)  
> -Frances is Martha (Manning)'s little sister (she was her mom historically so yeah)  
> -Theo is Theodosia (Sr's) little sister (note that Theo Jr. will always be called Theo and Theodosia Sr. will be called Theodosia or Dosia)  
> -Martha Jr. is Martha (Jefferson... why're there so many Marthas aHHHHH)'s little sister  
> -John Payne Todd is Dolley's little brother (I love him btw... but it might just be because of my bias towards the Jeffmads boys, therefore applying to their children... idk tho)  
> -Angie is the Schuylers' younger sister (why did they name two children Angelica? Who knows)  
> -Georges is Adrienne's younger brother  
> -Susan is Maria's younger sister  
> -Eacker just... exists. I don't even know if he has parents and no one knows what his birthday is, he's just an omnipotent being... who can't count to seven.

**Author's Note:**

> Note that currently the Jeffmads boys, Peggbury peeps, and Poly Rev. Set (I don't need to say boys or anything after that lol), are together.  
> I mean other people are (Second Gen Kiddosssssss) but they aren't here yet.  
> ...  
> Yeah.


End file.
